The Ubiquitous Blobsquatch

Since I became "known" in this madhouse business I have had the opportunity to review some photos...well, they are kind of like photos, of alleged bigfoot creatures. However, try as I may, I end up getting mad at myself for ever agreeing to let people send me these things.

Why?

Well, to start with; most people in the business of researching sasquatch, bigfoot or whatever are financially challenged. Some extremely so. So what I get is a lot of images taken with disposable cameras. The cheapest variety of these, the "store brand", have plastic lenses. What's wrong with a plastic lens you ask? Well, think back to your childhood and the very first time you received a pair of binoculars or field glasses (there is a difference...more on that at another time) as a gift. They were soooo cool, the way they had rainbows around the edges, and wiggly lines that were supposed to be trees. Those effects are chromatic aberrations caused by defects in the lens. Now, all plastic lenses aren't bad, but the cheap ones are. In addition to the plastic lenses on these disposables, the apertures are preset to give reasonable exposures in both full sun and open shade, so using them in low light situations is not advised. Then, for some unknown reason, there is usually some sort of debris or a thumb print on the lens as well. You get the picture....or not (pun intended).

So, I receive these pictures from serious minded folks, some of whom are absolutely convinced that their photos will be worth a million bucks, and ask me to do an analysis. No, let me rephrase that: they want me to verify that what they think they see is actually there. This puts me at an extreme disadvantage. First, if I say that what they think they see is contrary to what is really there, I have immediately lost a friend and ruined my credibility. So, I carefully explain that they might be mistaken, give the reasons for that and hope for the best. The best never happens.

With the advent of digital cameras came another issue: the over pixelated image. Most, if not all of the early digitals, had what was called a "digital zoom" feature. Digital zoom literally takes the image and digitally enlarges it. Digitally, not optically. Optical zooms give true, optical magnification. Digital zooming just makes the pixels bigger. So, even though the camera boasts a "100x digital zoom!" all it gives you is big, blocky pixels.

It didn't seem to matter which camera type the photos sent to me were made with, they nearly all shared a common feature. There were circles drawn, mostly red circles, around the areas I was to analyze. Instead of a clearly defined subject being visible, the makers of these images would draw a circle, or multiple circles, around an area, claiming that area as an image of a bigfoot. I wish I had a buck for every one of these miserable things I have been so unlucky to see. But, I did my duty and informed the people that the images they had were just a function of light and dark (and maybe their imaginations?) and that my assessment was that there were no bigfeet to be seen. I remember one older gentleman from Oklahoma who sent me email after email about his photo from a game cam, called me perhaps a dozen times before sending it, and paid a lawyer $700 to have the image copyrighted despite my advise that a lawyer wasn't necessary. Once I got my hands on the image I was so underwhelmed that I couldn't believe my eyes. All I could see was a big spot of out of focus hair. But along with my copy came another with the red circles that indicated that not only was there an adult bigfoot in the picture, but an infant as well. Some of you may know this person. If you do then you need no explanation. I sent him my findings..."all I see is a big hairy spot without definition, sir...there's not enough information on the image for a good assessment." He was (of course) upset and those famous (last?) words "I know what I'm looking at...and its a bigfoot" flowed like hot water down my ears.

Simply put: If you have to draw a circle around it...it probably isn't there.

So, before you go out and embarrass yourself, take a moment to think about what you are doing. I know many folks who just go out and shoot random photos of the tree line, then sit down at their computers and pick out the bigfeet in the photo. "Wow! Looky thar...a bigfoot! Hey! Thar's a nuther!" I've seen people post these things on Facebook. I bet it makes Mark Zukerberg sick to his stomach!

Any thoughts?